


This Will be on the Test

by abusemesoftly



Series: Kinktober! [7]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: And Hotch is in love with him, Bar, Biology Terms, Drinking, Drunk Hotch, M/M, Not a Zombie Thing tho, Reid is a Giant Nerd, Sapiosexual, Sapiosexual Hotch, Scientific Speach, Teacher Kink, That I had to look up, Turned on by brains!, Turned on by words, the team is mentioned - Freeform, this took way to long to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-23 22:39:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8345512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abusemesoftly/pseuds/abusemesoftly
Summary: Spencer discovers that drunken Hotch thinks he is like a "sexy teacher" and decides to try that out and run with it. Hotch has never thanked his drunk self so much before.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhhhhhhhhh are you guys ready for some top Reid?!?!?! I can’t hear you!!! I said are you ready for some top Reid?!?!/1?!?!? That’s what I thought! Much better! I know you guys can’t wait for this but I sure can! I’m so nervous about writing top Reid but I’m going to pore every ounce of top that I have in me into this…hopefully you won’t be able to tell that I’m not a top but we’re starting to get somewhere!!! Anyway, let’s get started!!!!!

“It’s actually a quickly growing problem. In Texas alone, student teacher relationships have grown by 41% in the last year alone.” Spencer said taking a drink of his coffee as if they weren’t talking about pedophilia. He sat back in his chair and raised his eyebrows continuing to spew off statistics about the epidemic.

Everyone paid attention to Spencer weather they wanted to or not, Hotch couldn’t seem to look away. He loved when Spencer talked about anything, it was one of the only times he seemed truly comfortable, when he was currently showing that he was the smartest in the room and Aaron wondered if that applied to other aspects of their life too.

After the killer was caught they all decided to go out and have some drinks at a new bar that had opened up close to Morgan’s house. They were all going, there was no way out of it. They had earned it after that case. JJ, Emily, and Garcia were having a great time dancing together and laughing at other guys who tried to hit on any of them. Goddesses did not interact with mortals. Morgan was dancing around his girls protecting them and bringing in other pretty girls, his natural protectiveness somehow rubbing off, along with his cute charm. He was surrounded in no time.

Hotch and Rossi were talking about something seemingly irrelevant over some scotch. That left Spencer with his thoughts and a round of shots with some other college kids who had recognized him from his lectures at their school.

He was playing his favorite game of how much could he drink before he stopped being smart. Surprisingly, it was a lot, but he attributed that to his past with certain influences. He was currently rambling off statistics about alcohol poisoning from around the world in between taking his shots.

Finally, the team gathered together and headed out to go home. Morgan took Garcia home, and Emily leaned on JJ as they got in their shared Cab. Rossi had stopped drinking far enough ago that he could drive home safely, and Reid didn’t particularly want to leave so Hotch said that he would take him home and make sure he got into bed.

“Yeah I’m sure…night Aaron.” Rossi said with a knowing smile. If he hadn’t been warm with the drinks he would have been more concerned with what was just said, but he shrugged it off for a more somber Hotch to deal with. After convincing Spencer to go home with the promise of sex they got into a cab and headed home.

As soon as they were home though Spencer was all over him, kissing and biting and hands going everywhere.

“Spence, baby, you’re too drunk…” Hotch said taking ahold of his wrists and pulled them down. Spencer immediately pulled back and raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll have you know that I am both fully competent, and able to give consent, but I am also much less drunk thank you are.” He said standing up straighter, looking nothing like he just did.

“But…how did you…what?” Hotch asked surprised by the magic trick he had appeared to have done with his entire attitude.

“I enjoy drinking so much partially for the lack of responsibility in keeping myself calm and centered Aaron.” He stated it matter of factly and his boyfriend raised an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah? You don’t have to be calm and centered around me ya know…” He said pouting playfully as he went back in to kiss him. Spencer quickly took control of the kiss and held onto his hair and pulled him back a little bit.

“Huh-uh. You’re too drunk…baby.” He said mocking what Hotch had said just moments before. He looked down on him and tisked his tongue as if he was in trouble and Aaron groaned. This was new. They hadn’t had him have control in…well…ever, not like this.

“You like being called baby? Having me move you around? Tell you what to do?” Spencer said moving Hotch’s head and kissed him roughly. He just groaned and nodded into the kiss as best he could.

“You are like a sexy teacher…” Hotch said smiling and Spencer just bowed his head and laughed as they both calmed down a bit.

They both ended up just sort of passing out together in the bed, and it wasn’t until the next day that dinner that Spencer brought it up again, the comment that had been in his head sense the night before.

“Do you really think I’m like a sexy teacher?” He asked and Hotch choked on his food and had to take a moment to stop coughing and take a drink of water before he looked back up at him.

“I’m sorry what did you just say?”

“Do you think I’m like a sexy teacher, you said you did last night when you were drunk.” He seemed undisturbed by the question and was honestly curious.

“Oh, well, I don’t know I just like the way you are when you talk about statistics and stuff that we don’t know, you speak with a certain confidence that is sexy on you.” He said thinking about it and what he could have meant, and that hit it pretty much on the head.

“I want to try something different tonight.” He said and then went and took his plate to the kitchen ending his dinner and the conversation. Aaron was used to this kind of behavior so he assumed that when it was time for him to understand he would.

A few hours later they were both getting ready for bed and Spencer seemed to be dressed up.

“What’s all that for?” He asked as Spencer walked in the room, his glasses on his face which was common for this time of night, but he was in a button up suit and a tie and pants.

“It’s been proven that men that have sex twice a week live longer than those who have it every few weeks.” Spencer said without a beat.

“Oh really, well then we should live forever…” Hotch said trying to joke around and get him undressed and in bed.

“Quiet. I am talking.” Spencer said walking over and standing in front of Hotch, who sat on the bed. He quickly shut his mouth and raised his eyebrows before he narrowed his eyes and smirked apologizing with his hands and looking up at him to continue talking.

“Testosterone, which is the hormone released for men, contributes to a healthier heart, helps cholesterol, and helps bones and muscles.”

Aaron nodded and bit his lip as he realized this is what he was talking about earlier, he was trying to roleplay.

“Oh, okay, I have a question teacher…” He said quietly as he dared to speak.

“What is it?” He asked pausing a minute, the doubt creeping in but Aaron caught it before it could overcome him and smirked as he asked,

“When are we going to learn about your cock? I mean, uh, the penis…teacher.” He asked looking up into Spencer’s eyes and the fire behind them roared with excitement. He had done good, he was doing well and Hotch was playing along.

“Oh you want to learn about a cock do you? Well, why don’t I show you as I tell you about it…” He said as he undid his belt and his buttons and pushed his pants down. Aaron refused to think about how much Spencer looked like a cheesy porno, he was sure if he said that, now or later that Spencer would never do anything like it again, and they could not have that. Spencer took his cock in his hands and took Aaron by the hair and lead him real close, he reached up to hold it.

“Ah,” He paused to lick his lips as he continued to talk, “The glans, which is more known as the head is a particularly sensitive area for most men, as it is covered with mucosa which is a soft, wet tissue.” He said matter of factly. Aaron was transfixed by this point, Spencer’s voice was sturdy and hot and he was so close to him but couldn’t touch him.

“Then, right here,” He said taking Hotch’s hands and running it down his base, “Is the Corpus cavernosum, which helps keep the…the uh blood in the penis which creates and maintains the erection.” He was starting to falter as Hotch started moving his hand up and down.

“But it’s so hard…it’s crazy to think that it’s all blood…hot pumping through there.” He said looking up wanting to taste so bad.

“Actually, when a man has an erection, the larger state of the body part allows for more blood to enter the penis than leave it, which is why it stays hard…” He said and ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m learning so much…what does it taste like though?” He asked and without waiting for ‘permission’ he leaned over and ran his tongue up the underside of his cock and up the slit at the top.

Spencer moaned and bit his lip panting as he spoke.

“What people think of as ‘pheromones’ are actually just any given person’s particular combination of chemicals that create sweat and pre ejaculate that is produced to help lubricate the way for penetrative sex.” He spoke. It killed Hotch that he was still able to maintain such an even tone while he was licking as the most sensitive spots on him and pumping him but he wasn’t surprised as it was Spencer Reid.

“Why does it feel so good?” He asked realizing that that was his part in this play was he was the prompter that was to keep him going.

“The hormones released during and after sex are proven to benefit sleep, and the immune system, in fact the…the uh…fuck…” He moaned letting his head fall back as Aaron started taking him in his mouth finally bobbing his head and he ran his hands through his hair.

“The hormone ‘dehydroepiandrosterone’ is what is released at orgasm and is said to be intoxicating that it is what causes sex addiction and…and a euphoric dream like state afterwards.”

Hotch moaned at that, god his boyfriend was so smart, and no one else could make such a long scientific word sound so good. That moan vibrated through Spencer and he bit his lip holding back a much deeper moan that wanted to escape. After that it wasn’t long until Spencer was coming and Hotch could swear that he saw the dehydro…something come over Reid and that look of bliss was what he needed to push him over the edge into his own orgasmic paradise.

Once the hormones had cleared a little bit Spencer started to laugh at himself for how ridiculous he felt like. “I look like a cheesy porno from the nineties.” He stated and Hotch just shook his head laughing with him. “Yes but it was so much better than that…” He said and started to pull the clothes off of the still fully dressed man when their phones rang.

Work.

“Think you’ll be able to list off statistics like that at work without blushing?” Aaron asked and Spencer grumbled about having to get undressed before getting redressed and was already in work mode. Aaron pulled him close and kissed him sweetly.

**Author's Note:**

> OH MY GOD YOU GUYS BETTER BE HAPPY WITH THAT AHHHHHH it took so much work, I have not one but two different links to source my facts with. If a fact is not found on one of those two links then it is simply from the enormous cavern that is my mind and should not under any 'cercumstanses' (see what i did there...of course you did...) be used for any actual research! This sort of turned into a sapiosexual fic, which if I were to sit back and think about would seem to be more up Spencer’s ally, but it ended up like this and I think it’s perfect. It’s my baby after all. Thanks again guys for the comments, and what not you don’t understand how giddy it makes me, I’ll read a comment or look at how many hits or kudos something has and I’ll just smile like an idiot at my screen and run my hands over it like a damn clown. It’s awful. Really though, thanks guys! As always follow me on tumblr for prompts, questions, comments, or just more me, and below will be the links for ya! @iwantyourbloodonmylips till next time guys!!!! 
> 
> http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man-woman/9-reasons-you-should-have-sex-everyday/articleshow/11615900.cms  
> http://www.webmd.com/men/picture-of-the-penis#1


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